So... How do I start on this? It's the middle of the night and I have a million thoughts running inside my head and honestly, it's drivin' me nuts. I really need a space for me to pen/rant down my thoughts/feelings 'cos this is the only way for me to feel better. I don't know who to turn to. The only person that can take away my current feeling and make me calm again is the boyfriend but he's still sick right now and in the midst of recovering, I really don't want to be such a burden to him. Maybe by penning down my thoughts then I will find the answer to why I am feeling more shittier as day goes by. Be aware that whatever you read down next will be heavy on complains/rants/bitching/whining and whatever else that's negative. I'm a girl that's feeling troubled and down therefore I need my personal space here. Please know that I am penning down my thoughts from MY point of view so I hope whoever that reads this don't get too judgemental on me, thank you very much. Also, I am in no mood to use the right words, bother on my grammer, phrase my sentences correctly and my thoughts are all jumbled around so I'll be jumping from topic A to topic Z at any point of time.
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I'm feeling extremely vexed right now and I don't even know the answer to why I'm feeling this way. I really, really wished for the time to stop for me to gather all my thoughts and for me to take a day off away from this fast-paced society. For the past few weeks I have been feeling like a mess and as each day goes by, the mess starts to pile up so high that I don't even know where to begin cleaning up. I feel like total shit and I really hate this feeling so flipping damn much. And to be honest here, I don't even know what mess are there for me to clean up. Time management? Yeah, maybe that. I always sucked at managing my time, I get pissed off with myself too. Ughhhh I really need a punching bag right now!! Words can't describe how frustrated I am with everything.
Oh God, why...
I need a break so flipping badly to run away to a place with nothing for me to think about. A break away from all these fake people around me. Damn humans. I've seen enough of fake people or people that lies that the slightest thing. I mean, what for?! You know that there are always times when you listen to your friends share their story on some part of their lives'? Those time are the time when I am the most quiet because I am always silently catching their lie and I find it funny at how hard these people are trying to exaggerate at their stories to impress people. It's easy to see through their lie and don't ask me how I know because I really don't know how to explain in words. You just got to observe at people more carefully I guess. Singaporeans are just so...
Alright, know what? I think I'm gonna stop here, because my thoughts will most probably make absolutely no sense here and so far with all the typing, I am still feeling the same. Usually I'll already be feeling better but nope, not this time.
Maybe sleeping will be a better choice.
Goodnight.
